148996

Joke of the Day

"Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive? He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve."

"What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it."

"Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help."

"What did Donald Trump say to his wife Melania in the voting booth? Don't copy Michelle on this one."

"How do you get a fat girl into bed ? Piece of cake"

"The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow."

"Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store? He was looking for a tight seal."

"11: You know what would be really ironic? Me: No, what? 11: If someone died in their...living room. The Twitter is strong in this one."

"Had no idea why my salad was $175, 'til the waiter explained that they only use Beets by Dre."