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Joke of the Day

"hey remember back in the day when a coke only cost a nickel and everyone was just horribly ridiculously racist"

"If bad Russian puns were worth a Nikolai would be rich."

"So two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... BAH DUM TSSH"

"*appears in puff of smoke at a public pool* ""Warning, what you're about to see may shock you!"" Hey! What are y- *touches live wire to water*"

"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""fear not,"" he says and points at Jesus. ""for he has resin."""

"He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had. You seldom meet a man of his caliber."

"We should've cremated Michael Jackson in case of the zombie apocalypse or else people will think they're part of a Thriller flash mob"

"My doctor's just told me I am suffering from paranoia Well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking"

"I heard Oscar Pistorius had a hard time finding a lawyer for his murder trial... they kept saying he didn't have a leg to stand on."

"What does a sheep in denial say? Nahhhh"