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Joke of the Day

"What does a stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? She drops him off at band practice."

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust."

"Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help."

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to start the journey from I Can't Breathe Without You to I'll Choke You Out In Public."

"Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment? It won't get better if you picket it."

"Did you hear about Draymond Green's new comedy road show? It's like Gallagher, but instead of watermelons he only smashes kiwis."

"What's the difference between a whore and a truck? The truck can only take the load from behind where as the whore can take it from anywhere."

"I was at the doctor today and he told me he needed a urine sample, a stool sample, a blood sample, and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear."

"Why did the acid perform poorly? Because it didn't concentrate."

"Rhianna is writing the soundtrack for the new Lilo and Stitch movie It's about how Stitch develops a gambling problem >STITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY"