122679

Joke of the Day

"I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression. Then I realized alcohol is a solution."

"I missed a call from my mom, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called."

"I needed to get a shipment of almonds to the airport quickly. It was so weird to call Uber and ask if they could drive me nuts."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Let's go ride bikes!"

"What do you call a joke with no ending?"

"How does Moses make his tea? He brews it! ;)"

"Our doctor told us that vaginal delivery is definitely an option.. But when the hooker arrived at our place the next day, my wife was *not* pleased."

"What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles"

"i went to a wedding for two antennae The ceremony was pretty bad, but the reception was amazing"

"What's an alcoholic's favorite book? Tequila mocking bird"