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Joke of the Day

"He died doing what he loved, my now ex-wife"

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"What does 90 year old pussy taste like? .....Depends."
"What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch? Paddy O' furniture"
"What's common between a lawyer and an eccentric billionaire with bad teeth? Both have a very expensive retainer."
"What cheese does a piano princess eat? Mozart-rella!"
"So a man walks into a bar... and never comes back for my entire childhood. Where are you dad?"
"I saw this farmer milking a baby cow and I thought to myself ""How could anybody stoop that low?"""
"When one squirrel says ""I like to eat nuts"", there is probably always another squirrel who says ""that's what she said."""
"What did the mortician say to the corpse? We're gonna need more lube."
"Why do Cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose"