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Joke of the Day
"Why do Cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose"
Next Joke
"I bet if Amy Winehouse had changed her name to Amy Lemonadehouse, she'd still be alive today."
"Two Jews working in a shop. One of them asks: -Abraham, how much is 13 times 8? -Are we buying or selling?"
"*Takes ex girlfriend's poem on Antiques Road Show* Sir these are worthless *Winks at camera* Told you Karen!"
"One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I'd love to hold your baby"
"I used to always ask my mom for things & she'd say ""what's the magic word"" and I'd say ""abracadabra"" and she'd say ""you're why dad left."""
"Why did the Egyptian spit out his water? Because it came from the Suez."
"The crazy thing about insurance is that the best case scenario is you've wasted a bunch of money."
"Is there anything better than being fit and healthy? Yes. Pizza and beer."
"[interview] ""How would you describe your people skills?"" ME: I tend to drive others away. ""That's great! Welcome to Uber."""