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Joke of the Day
"Even 9/11 had its positives... My house climbed 2 spots in the world's tallest building ranks."
Next Joke
"Spelling errors in quotations make me sic."
"What's the difference between an old cat and a little kitten? An old cat will bite and scratch, but a little pussy never hurt anybody."
"I'm sorry, sir, but your cholesterol isn't high enough to buy this Hawaiian shirt."
"I've decided my left testicle is my favorite It's more down to earth.."
"My Mexican teacher asked for a 2 page essay, he wasn't happy when I brought him Juan. Thought this up in the car and thought the nice people of the Internet would want to know :)"
"[planning heist] Me: We'll need the element of surprise. Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne"
"It's not believable when Billy Bob Thornton isn't an alcoholic in a movie."
"TRUMP: She's too scripted HILLARY (reading from teleprompter): Mr. Trump, (voice steadily rising) Adobe Reader is ready to update"
"What is the difference between Feminist, Hitler, and Elizabeth Bathory Feminist with accomplish nothing before dying."