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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a race where all the runners have no legs? An arms race."

"Bacon: Toast, great tan! Eggs: Ham, you smell good! Ham: Thank you Eggs, you too! Toast: Bacon, you're awesome bro! -complementary breakfast"

"there's no attractive way to chase a ping pong ball"

"Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar"

"I went to a concert and the DJ asked us to put our hands in the air Unfortunately, I had forgotten my bag of Lays at home"

"Q: What did the leprotic john say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip."

"Does anyone else bring a bag of clever disguises to the grocery store in case there's a wine sampling booth that day?"

"If people could hear the next five seconds after I hit ""end"" on a call, I would have no friends."

"You can now buy ""throw back"" Pepsi with real sugar. Where can I find throw back Coca-Cola with real cocaine?"