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Joke of the Day

"First Rule of *Always Right* Club--No Men Allowed"

"My door bell rang this morning. I didn't even know it had a phone."

"I was going to do the dishes but they weren't in the mood."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He took a sip of his coffee before it was cool."

"Why do old men take Viagra... It stops them from rolling out of bed."

"In a recent football game, a player sustained injuries, and the manager was fired after sending on the wrong player to replace him. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I asked my Dad if we could get any pets... He said pets are just a step backwards."

"You guys ever hear the one about the man who ran naked through the church? They caught him by the organ."

"How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins."

"Did you hear about the new restaraunt on the moon? It's got great food, just no atmosphere.."