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Joke of the Day

"[ear is bleeding for 3 days straight] hmm better keep an eye on that. [laptop slow for one second] i gotta run AdWare & antivirus right now"

"AliuroPhile Jokes I Hope U Enjoy ALSO SUBMIT YOURS TO THIS"

"Waiter waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good sir he's frightened of them too."

"The female praying mantis devours her male within minutes of mating, whereas ... the female human stretches it out over a lifetime!"

"My friend is like a Jew during WWII In the closet."

"I love the lines men use to get us into bed. ""Please I'll only put it in for a minute."" What am I a microwave?"

"What kind of rodent DDOS attacks Al Queda's Twitter account? An anonimouse"

"Where do otters come from? Otter Space!"

"What do you say to someone who studied media at university? Can I have fries with that please?"

"Remember, if we get caught, you are deaf and I speak no English."