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Joke of the Day

"Today Mother phoned asked me what I was doing . I said I was on Google maps and looking at her house .She asked if I could see her waving ."

"What do birds order when they go to Starbucks? Flappaccinos."

"What do you do if you see a spaceman? You park in it, man."

"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."

"Handsome Stranger: Excuse me, but you're.. Me: Gorgeous & you've been mustering up the courage to speak to me? HS: ..blocking the pickles."

"What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama? Pardon me"

"President Lincoln ""I'm going to miss you, President Lincoln,"" said John Wilkes Booth. Booth lied. He didn't."

"Your refrigerators running. Hmmm let me check. My refrigerator is in fact not running. Thanks you kind young anonymous caller. You have saved me from a great deal of spoilage."

"What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day? It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey."

"Why is Reddit called Reddit? Because you've probably read it before."