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Joke of the Day
"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."
Next Joke
"What do you call a dog from another planet? A dal-martian"
"What's the most useful type of hat? A handy-cap"
"I shot my first turkey today! But for some reason everyone in the frozen food section acted really surprised."
"How do you make Halloween great again? By carving a Trumpkin"
"I just got carded at Forever 21. This is bullshit!"
"Answering your cell when you don't recognize the number is basically like picking up a hitchhiker. You're probs gonna die."
"Based on the reaction of the pharmacist who just sold me cold pills, I need to work on my ""I'm not going to make meth with these"" smile."
"One More Hilarious Vampire Joke ...actually it sucks."
"[Asking someone out] Um...so do you want to come to my exorcism next week?"