121975
Joke of the Day
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that."
Next Joke
"I live in constant fear that someone will abduct my mother in law at 35 Ash Street, London, Flat 2, door is sticky buzz Carol to let you in."
"If a person becomes a murderer they go to jail If a cop becomes a murderer they get paid vacation."
"Im the guy that says ""Is he bothering you?"" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away."
"What do you call a black abortion clinic? Crime stoppers"
"[at pet store] Im looking for something cheap and will get people to stop coming over."
"I keep making jokes about my dads new Thai bride. He's getting pretty sick of them. My dads getting sick of them too."
"DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me."
"Whats the difference between a brown noser and a shithead? Depth Perception"
"Why is Ian Thorpe gay? He didn't like breast stroke."