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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma is so fat, shes got more ""coverage"" than my cell phone provider"

"So I have a joke about pizza... ...but it's too cheesy"

"According to the Internet: Xbox One - $500. - Weaker hardware. - Mandatory daily check-in. - Requires Kinect. - DRM. PS4 - Cures cancer."

"[phone rings] Mum: your grandad isn't well. I'm afraid he's on his deathbed Me: well tell him to get in a different bed then"

"Ever been in the shower, already late, when you feel that colorectal peristaltic action and think ""Damnit, I don't have time for this shit!"""

"Have you heard of OS X Def Leppard? It runs on ARM."

"It's called courting because you will need lawyers later."

"Why are you so gay? Because you are happy."

"I've been a vegetarian for 13 years but if I ever got the chance I would absolutely 100% bite the head off the Geico gecko"

"AA MEETING Chairman: Please, introduce yourself Eminem: Hi! My name is.. C: What? E: My name is.. C: Who? E: Hi! My name is.. C: Huh?"