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Joke of the Day

"[phone rings] Mum: your grandad isn't well. I'm afraid he's on his deathbed Me: well tell him to get in a different bed then"

"A chinese father tells his 7 year old son he's adopted His son replies: it's ok daddy I learned this in school already! 2 wongs don't make a white."

"Q: How does a blind skydiver know the ground is near? A: The leash goes slack."

"What's the most encouraging calisthenic? Chin-ups!"

"What is large, grey and sings great jazz songs? Elephants Gerald"

"At first I thought maybe HBO had another vampire show. Then I realized that's just what Steve Buscemi really looks like."

"New research shows there are no Ginger Bankers... Survey results suggested that although many wanted to work in finance, they wern't able to sell their soul to Satan..."

"I'm so baked, That I'm two apples and three tablespoons of sugar away from a fruit pie."

"What is the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker & a prostitute with diarrhea? The epileptic oyster-shucker SHUCKS between FITS."

"""Hey I like you"" ""I like you too"" ""Let's lick the inside of each other's mouths to express our love"" ""Yeah that's not weird. Let's do that"""