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Joke of the Day

"According to the Internet: Xbox One - $500. - Weaker hardware. - Mandatory daily check-in. - Requires Kinect. - DRM. PS4 - Cures cancer."

"Don't you hate it when you look all around the house and car for your underwear,,, And they were on top of your head the whole time?"

"I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese's pieces"

"What does an accountant call a friend's birthday party? (x-post from /r/tax) A present liability!"

"What has five arms, three legs and a head? The finish line at the Boston Marathon"

"Clowns terrorizing the streets. A real life billionaire villain running for president. We need Batman now more than ever"

"What do you call a basement full of redditors? A wine cellar."

"Why were the treefrog's stories always so attention grabbing? Because he was absolutely ribbeting!"

"I hate being bipolar. It's fucking awesome."

"While on vacation the desk clerk at the London hotel told me I'd only get the key to my room if I presented him with 250 pounds... ... so I introduced him to my wife."