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Joke of the Day

"When you use a stranger's phone charger, you're charging with everyone they've ever charged with."

"Why did the banker eat lunch by himself? Because he was a loaner."

"The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later."

"What do horny campers and Leo Di Caprios acting have in common? They are both fucking intense!"

"Apparently, women in muslim countries can't drive. They can't do it here either."

"My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank. They caught him drinking on the job."

"Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that"

"what's black, white, orange and terrifying? My voters pamphlet."

"i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash"

"[Politics] Illegal immigrants are lucky The government is helping them escape the US ...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs"