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Joke of the Day

"The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later."

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"Received definitive proof I'm going blind AND senile this morning as I just attempted to pinch zoom the newspaper."
"Just once I'd like a number between 1 and 10 to think of me."
"what colour are Marios overalls? denim denim denim"
"A Dutch man is talking to his American friend... A Dutch man is talking to his American friend and says ""I fuck horses"" The American, astonished says, ""Pardon?!"" The Dutch man goes ""Yes! Paarden!"""
"What did the hookers hang on the christmas tree? Whore-naments"
"I hear kleptomaniacs make the best detectives They pick up everything."
"I try to have garage sales but as soon as anyone shows a slight interest in something I take it back into the house & look at it with pride."
"What do you say to a bodybuilder to get him to repeat you? No Whey"
"If you say ""cray cray"" I'm going to punch you in the ""fay fay"","