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Joke of the Day

"If you're still writing checks, remember it's 2016 and you should probably find a better way to pay for your groceries."

"maybe ancient civilizations wouldn't have died out if they'd built regular buildings instead of these dumb ruins"

"I told the doctor I want to take my amputated leg home and he asked why ""Because it's my right"""

"What' is a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir, We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ..."

"Why did Microsoft name their new web browser ""Edge""? Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays."

"My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn't make the cut this year."

"5: I went potty. Me: Did you remember to wipe this time? 5: No. Me: Why? 5: It's faster my way. I don't know how to counter that argument."

"China has a great wall..... and guess what? No Mexicans!"

"A bank robber took a mop and a bucket of soapy water to a job. He cleaned up."

"Why don't plumbers like to work on instant hot water heaters? It's a tankless job!"