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Joke of the Day

"""If I should die before I wake, please don't draw any dicks on my face."""

"Saw my neighbour scrubbing some graffiti saying 'paedo' off his door this morning... I said ""What's been going on mate?"" He said ""Fucking kids!"""

"If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea."

"To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on."

"What does a paedophile like to do while on vacation? Get some son."

"What advantage do gay black guys have over gay white guys? They only have to come out to their mother."

"You can't trust a mule with an important task. They'll just half-ass it."

"You guys should stop with the 9/11 jokes. I think they're PLANE wrong! *sigh* EDIT: GRAMMAR CORRECTION"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch? Phil"

"What do boobs and toys have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them."