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Joke of the Day

"It's truly amazing what Abraham Lincoln accomplished while wearing such a big stupid hat."

"How do you starve a black person? The same way you starve a white person you racist piece of shit"

"Auto correct tries to change the word ""pussies"" to ""Aussies"".... Just saying."

"Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin... Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November."

"What is Wun-Wun's favorite activity? Taekwundo."

"What do you call a sleepwalking Nun? A Roamin' Catholic!"

"A pharmacy was just robbed. A pharmacy was just robbed $500,000. Security camera footage recorded the criminal taking 2 bottles of aspirin and a Zoloft."

"The phone rings, and Dad asks: What does the caller ID say? Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher."

"Kinda creepy that Noah could tell the difference between the male and female versions of EVERYTHING"

"With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was. I said JFK, because he's so open-minded."