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Joke of the Day

"*wakes up* well, it looks like its that time again. time to do just enough activity to convince my body that it needs to go back to sleep"

"I've struggled for years to be above the influence... But I've never been able to get that high"

"What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog? A dog who can lick himself from across the room"

"Why couldn't the pony sing? He was a little horse."

"Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN? A: Because she didn't know which one came first!"

"The clowns I hire always seem surprised to find I'm the only party guest."

"I went to a female Arab boxing match last night. It was pretty boring, all they threw were high jabs."

"Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat."

"Was being tested for allergies at an all-male nudist colony when the power went out... Needless to say, I felt every prick."

"What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex."