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Joke of the Day

"I've struggled for years to be above the influence... But I've never been able to get that high"

"How many Narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. But he doesn't screw it in, he just holds it and the world revolves around him."

"I bet some astronomers can't tell black holes apart because they're racists."

"I needed to clean my FleshLight, i heard they were dishwasher safe. But that would Just ruin the load."

"A Wheelchair Basketball Game I was at a wheelchair basketball game, and the announcer told everyone to ""Please rise for the pledge."" The ironic thing was that all the players were veterans."

"Ever since I swallowed a watch I've been keeping myself busy taking laxitives, eating lots of fruit and drinking prune juice. Anything to pass the time."

"What can you never eat for breakfast? Dinner."

"I entered 10 puns into a pun contest in the hope that one would win... But no pun-in-ten did."

"Another Dad Joke Dad: Guess who I saw today? Kid: Who? Dad: Everyone I looked at!"

"Second best gaming joke ever... Buy the DLC to find out..."