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Joke of the Day

"Whenever u feel like ur not being productive, take a nap. You'll wake up groggy & angry & have forgotten abt the whole ""productivity"" thing"

"I don't see the problem with suicide.. For me at least, it seems like a self solving issue."

"I don't like my financial adviser. He put the ""douche"" in Fiduciary"

"""U can legally stab someone if u suspect they're a Gary."" -no you can't *pulling knife from sheath* ""Sounds like somthin a Gary would say"""

"Thought of starting an origami business but too lazy to do all the paperwork involved."

"I'm interested in anything with a possible ""loss of appetite"" side effect."

"Want to get really stoned? Commit adultery in Iran."

"If the only way you say ""Happy Birthday"" to someone is via their Facebook wall, they're not your friend."

"What's black and white and red all over and can't get through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head."

"Wow 15 notifications.. oh wait 13 of them are for farmville, cityville, I dont give a shit-ville"