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Joke of the Day

"Whenever u feel like ur not being productive, take a nap. You'll wake up groggy & angry & have forgotten abt the whole ""productivity"" thing"

"My girlfriend once used Vaseline when she gave me a handjob . . I came four or five times trying to wash it off."

"I combined two hit games and made ""Angry Words With Friends"" where I just scream obsenities at people while throwing dead birds at them."

"The best ways to spell the name Sean: 1. Sean 2. Shawn 3. Shaun 4. Chone 5. Shnzzang 6. Beans! 7. Ulurion 8. Shon?"

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up."

"Why is it always so sunny in Firefly and Serenity? Because they only have one season."

"A hurricane is going to hit the east coast? Are you Joaquin?"

"What do Native Americans do for the holidays? Nativities."

"Why did the cod sue the fish and chip shop? Assault and battery. Sorry again. I'm bored in work."