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Joke of the Day

"Thought of starting an origami business but too lazy to do all the paperwork involved."

"Why do java programmers need to wear glasses? Because they can't C#!"

"Can I take your order? Yeah, lemme get a McRib and a large Coke. Sir, this is Wallgreens OK, make it a bottle of Xanax, and some Pringles"

"Why didn't anyone show up to Kim Jong-il's funeral? The reports of his death were unbereavable."

"ME: long time no see! I heard you're a doctor FRIEND: I am. what do you do now? ME: [glances down at open twitter app] I'm a writer"

"What do cats read in the morning ? Mewspapers !"

"Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail? It was important not to fall off the wagon."

"Imagine us waiting for 2016 and all of sudden comes 2015 s"

"I stole a jar of jelly from a friend... While I was blasting some Daft Punk. He chases me down yelling ""That's my jam!"""

"Did you hear about the flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage? It was a murder most foul."