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Joke of the Day

"Want to get really stoned? Commit adultery in Iran."

"These Blondes Are Dumb when i was penetrating them, they kept asking me 'is it in yet?'"

"I don't have a friend called Louise. If I did I would always be saying ""Jeez Louise"" to her. Then I wouldn't have a friend called Louise."

"Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair? he was a bad conductor."

"Me: I crave your sweetness on my lips Her: Who are you talking to in there? M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody"

"""A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."" Ayn Rand Obviously He's never been a cotton plantation slave owner."

"Why don't Muslims have dirty minds? Because they're so easily brainwashed."

"How do you know when a joke has gone too far? It's elected President."

"As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.."

"While in prison, I asked the Calvinist, ""Why did you kill your family?"" He answered, ""I had to know."""