121227

Joke of the Day

"The Bishop The bishop came to my church today. He was an impostor, he never once moved diagonally. Credit to bash.org"

"What did the chopped wood say to the tree? Run!"

"I don't do hard liquor... ...I liquor hard"

"If someone says you're not a mermaid, don't talk to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life."

"Remember, you are faster and trickier than they are. - Me, to myself, when I'm fighting a kid at the playground for the last swing."

"Damn girl, are you a haunted house? Because I'm scared to come inside you."

"What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients? At your cervix, m'lady"

"I'm so good at sleeping... I can do it with my eyes closed."

"I always finish sandwiches because there will already be too many regrets when I die."

"Woman and her Cat What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat? Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss"