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Joke of the Day

"I'm so good at sleeping... I can do it with my eyes closed."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wipe his ass. [Edit] my uncle just told me this"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Benin ! Benin who ? Benin hell!"

"Dear McDonald's cashier, Don't give me that look, there's no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don't forget the toy b!tch."

"""Maybe connect two monocles together? Pretty good idea. I have to write this down."" - the guy that invented the pen"

"If a British person calls 911 and says, ""It's a bloody mess"" how does the operator know if there's blood or the person is just being British"

"I heard an immature joke about dildos. Now I'm butthurt."

"""Yes, I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom, please."" ""Sir, that's a sleeping bag."""

"Kurt Cobain shot himself because he couldn't live with the guilt of drowning 18 babies to get 1 usable photo for an album cover."

"5-year-old: I'm supposed to find out more about my hero for school. Me: Aw, you came to me. 5: Yeah. Can you tell me more about Batman?"