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Joke of the Day

"People with a sense of humour are so much easier to talk to and get along with."

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"These tweets are a lot better if you imagine them being read by Morgan Freeman."
"What's black and white and red all over? Mimes in a chainsaw fight."
"Just spent 3 hours making a belt out of all my old watches... ...it was a complete waste of time."
"Daddy, what's a transvestite? Ask mommy, he knows"
"What do porn stars and prostitutes say when they wake up in the morning? Time to suck today's dick!"
"I was told the Highlander was stopping by a Mexican nightclub When I showed up to the party, there was only Juan."
"A termite walks into a bar... And asks, ""is the bartender here?"""
"If any Americans still feel like emigrating to Canada, can you please bring up some Thanksgiving leftovers?"
"*Throws all 900 baby items in garbage* *Buys Magic 8 Ball* *Whispers*, This is how we raise you now."