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Joke of the Day

"Whats a trilby clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?"

"How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver? It's hard to keep track."

"[flicks cigarette out window] submarine captain: you fool!"

"[ In bed, trying to find a cold spot ] Ahhhh, there it is... Wife: Get off of me!!"

"What do women and KFC have in common? After your finished with the breasts and thighs all you have is a greasy box to throw your bone in."

"Why are Asians not optimistic? Because they have a limited view of life."

"""911"" ""Hello, my wife was cooking and she fell"" ""What's the emergency?"" ""How long before the rice is ready?"""

"What's an alcoholic's favorite novel? Tequila Mockingbird I made this up just now... I'm so excited about it."

"Shall I tell you the joke about the body snatchers? Best not, you might get carried away."

"Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch? Paddy O'Furniture!"