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Joke of the Day
"[flicks cigarette out window] submarine captain: you fool!"
Next Joke
"How do you catch an elephant? You dig a big hole, fill it with ash, and put peas around the outside of the hole. When the elephant comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole."
"How do you get off a non-stop flight?"
"On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker."
"Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*"
"Windows 9 Why is there no Windows 9? Cause 7 8 9 7 Ate 9 LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL"
"what's red and smells like blue paint? red paint"
"The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, ""Move to the passenger seat""."
"""Toothpaste? You made that word up!"" - Steve Bushemi"
"I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?"