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Joke of the Day

"[Texts to 14] Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey [Reply] OMG DAD WAT? [Text] Hi"

"There are 2 hamsters in the airing cupboard, which one is from the Army? A: The one on the tank"

"What do you call a rude god? Assholy."

"Wife: ""Do you want to watch Batman Forever?"" Me: ""I'll watch it for a couple of hours."" Wife: ""I hate you."""

"I would imagine there really isn't any market for sea shells down by the sea shore considering the abundance of free sea shells."

"What's black and doesn't work in an office? Decaf coffee!"

"If I worked for the tribune... ... do you think I'd make the papers?"

"I'm not a proctologist ... ... but I know an asshole when I see one."

"I used to supply filofaxes to the mafia I was involved in very organised crime"

"I'm leaving my job at the ship yard to be a contestant on The Apprentice. I don't know a lot about the world of business, but I'm good at making sails."