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Joke of the Day

"[Texts to 14] Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey [Reply] OMG DAD WAT? [Text] Hi"

"It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change"

"Customer: Why did you take off so much hair? Barber: I didn't nature beat me to it."

"The reason Patrick is always clueless Is because he lives under a rock."

"Why are germans so bad at marathons? Because they cant finish a race."

"Hey man, just be yourself! Not like that though."

"Two fish are swimming together and they hit a wall, one turns to the other and says... Damn."

"Why do they call camels the ships of the desert? Because they're full of Arab semen"

"Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV? Jar Jar Binks"

"is your name melissa? ""yes"" are you married? ""to you sadly"" yes or no please ""yes"" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?"