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Joke of the Day

"What starts with ""f"" and ends with ""uck"" Fire truck!"

"My girlfriend and I were fighting in the car We glared at eachother and I thought neither of us would back down, but in the end we struck an Accord."

"What did the left nut say to the right nut? That guy above us is a real dick"

"Fat people. You can't run, but you can't hide either."

"I found out R. Kelly had sex with that girl because she reminded him of his mother He has an Oedipiss complex."

"[notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?"

"I hate when people ask me what I'm doing in five years... Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Why shouldn't white people go swimming? Nobody likes a soggy cracker!"

"print out the lyrics to ""Girls Just Wanna Fun"" and draw a red X through it all and you have the Quran, pretty much"

"119 years ago today a Canadian cargo vessel sank off the coast of New York, her cargo 50,000 cases of mayonnaise. And that's why we celebrate Sinko de Mayo"