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Joke of the Day

"print out the lyrics to ""Girls Just Wanna Fun"" and draw a red X through it all and you have the Quran, pretty much"

"If I were really famous, I wouldn't even need body guards. These maxi pads promise me 10 hours of protection, each."

"Women to the left of me Women to the right of me That's when I realized I was in the wrong bathroom"

"DOCTOR: a new study says the meds ur on cause hallucinations ME: oh LARGE MENACING CACTUS THAT FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE: was it peer reviewed?"

"Finish this sentence: I like my coffee like I like my _____. I like my coffee like I like my coffee: recursive."

"How can you teach Jamals and Juans? Just toss em banana, they will suck for it"

"I like Gila monsters because they're willing to admit they're monsters, unlike giraffes"

"Why do people hate playing uno with Mexicans? They always take the green cards"

"Sometimes I like to sit at the playground & wait for a concerned Mother to ask ""Which kid is mine?"" I like to reply ""I haven't decided yet."""

"Most people's religion or faith has a switch which they can conveniently switch on and off whenever it suits them."