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Joke of the Day

"119 years ago today a Canadian cargo vessel sank off the coast of New York, her cargo 50,000 cases of mayonnaise. And that's why we celebrate Sinko de Mayo"

"My brother & I've competed for title of family black sheep for yrs. He checked in at a strip-club...on FB. Well played brother, well played"

"Being a Jedi isn't all bad. I've been sitting around in my bathrobe for decades."

"Why did Johnny Cash have the Cocaine Blues? He ran out of cocaine."

"The one place you don't want to move to ...is any place with a thriving funeral buisness"

"I once sent nude pictures to everyone in my contacts list. Not only was it embarrassing... It cost me a fortune in stamps."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin."

"What do you call the sweat on you while you're having sex with your wife's sister? Relative humidity"

"Apparently, the words ""I'd still hit it"" are words best kept to yourself at a funeral"

"I'm giving up my husband for Lent."