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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar. By the way, I'm the guy who accidentally knocked over Usain Bolt. Sorry, I'm not good with segways."

"What did the bisexual man said to his wife? It is not cheating if it is in the ass."

"What can 9 out of 10 people agree on? gang rape"

"Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas"

"What do a tornado and a black man have in common? They both can ruin a neighborhood."

"Which nation doesn't do what it's supposed to do until it's too late? Procrastination!"

"Be careful! Someone's using this sub to target victims He's a real predditor"

"[speaking to a guy who looks nothing like Ed Sheeran] ""Hey man, do people ever say you look like Ed Sheeran?"" ""No"" ""Didn't think so"""

"I opened a sperm bank in London recently... We had a disastrous first day. Only two clients. One came on the bus; the other one missed the tube."

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper."