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Joke of the Day
"What does a woman want more than anything in the world? Nothing. She's fine."
Next Joke
"My suicide notes just keep turning into grocery lists."
"Old man Manelli is cooking a chicken on a rotisserie in his front stoop When a hippy walks by. He stops, looks up and says: ""Hey man! The music stopped and your monkeys on fire"""
"What was Helen Keller's dog's name? Uuuuuueeeeuuuuhhhh!!!"
"I'd tell you a joke about UDP... but I'm not sure you'd get it."
"This is an emergency! *Begs to borrow strangers phone *starts scrolling through pics"
"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she's holding a grenade !"
"What does Sean Connery wear to avoid the paparazzi? His shunglasshesh"
"if you write something and include a ""tl;dr"" version that just means you're shitty at keeping peoples attention with your awful writing"
"I was expecting ""The Last Airbender"" to be a disappointment. I was not disappointed."