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Joke of the Day
"Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday? Because he had a wee cough"
Next Joke
"If the number 666 is considered evil... ...is the number 999 is considered LIVE?"
"Can anyone give me a Russian-English bilingual pun?"
"What religious people say: ""I have you in my prayers."" What non-religious people hear: ""I'm trying to raise Aquaman on this cat radio."""
"Movie pitch: There's this guy named Craig that makes a list of Jews he can save from Naz... what?"
"Dance like no one is threatening to call the police if you don't take your boombox and leave the Christian Science Reading Room immediately."
"""Oh no. We dripped cheese dip on the cat. I'll get it"" *she grabs a shirt* ""Hey don't use that!"" *hands her a chip*"
"If I got in a fight, the first thing I'd do is take off my shirt so he could see the scars where I've burned myself ironing. He'd back down."
"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, ""Bartender, how much do I owe you?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, neutron, no charge."""
"""I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone"" -girls who can't figure out boyfriend's passwords"