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Joke of the Day

"""Bitches be crazy."" -dog therapist"

"Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of Real Men around to do it."

"Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes? A: None. The democrats do that."

"English If you ever have trouble remembering the difference between ""lead"" and ""lead"", just remember that ""lead"" sounds like ""read"" and ""lead"" sounds like ""read""."

"My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place"

"Went to a bulimic birthday party today... I saw a cake pop out of a girl."

"How are parsley and pubic hair similar? You push them both aside and start eating."

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? Wipes."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple..? Cancer."

"Last year I turned my life around and lost over 200 lbs People ask me what's your secret? And I'm like ""It's simple, I dumped my girlfriend."""