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Joke of the Day

"English If you ever have trouble remembering the difference between ""lead"" and ""lead"", just remember that ""lead"" sounds like ""read"" and ""lead"" sounds like ""read""."

"Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator? It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels."

"Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts."

"Why do you duct tape guinea pigs? So they don't burst when you fuck them"

"Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted."

"What does the word 'gay' mean? asked a son to his father. ""It means 'happy,'"" replied the father. ""Oh,"" contested the son, ""so are you gay, then?"" ""No, son, I have a wife."""

"What's all natural, well balanced, and comes in pints? An elephant sitting on your fence masturbating."

"What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety? Past tense."

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and a bucket of cow manure? the bucket"

"Why does nobody like a rich stone? Because he takes everything for granite."