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Joke of the Day
"My uncle was killed during the attacks on France.... He blew himself up."
Next Joke
"Me: You're supposed to be taking a nap 4-year-old: I am Me: Then why are you standing here? 4-year-old: Me: 4-year-old: This is a dream"
"Why aren't snowmen called snow women? Because they're in the kitchen melting."
"I aged about 2 years and counted 14,364 cat hairs on my cashiers blouse at Walmart waiting for her to ring up my groceries."
"An average person has sex 300 times a year. The next 10 days are gonna be sick."
"Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole."
"How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+S"
"What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other..."
"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty"
"Babies are fucking idiots and we totally act like that's okay."