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Joke of the Day

"Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Twitter. ""...you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave..."""

"My girlfriend accused me of cheating I told her she was starting to sound like my wife."

"Consequences One of the more interesting consequences of having watched *Pulp Fiction* before reading *Hamlet*, is that I pictured Marcellus as a big black guy."

"Kind Donation Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water"

"College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times."

"What do you call a spaghetti that went to a pasta party? An Impasta"

"I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him"

"Muy Picante: What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!"

"my girlfriend folded the corner on a page of my new book, rather than use a bookmark. so i gently folded her credit card, until it snapped."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boyscout comes back from camp!"