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Joke of the Day

"my girlfriend folded the corner on a page of my new book, rather than use a bookmark. so i gently folded her credit card, until it snapped."

"What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission? An ill-eagle"

"Why don't ducks blow glass? To many quacks"

"COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh... C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school? He woke up."

"What does a deaf woman say to a premature ejaculator? Come again?"

"What is it Lassie? Timmy fell down a well? Earthquake in LA? The Russians are coming? You found a plane? No? ...Oh, you want another beer."

"Did you hear about the tourist who visited France? He went to Paris and saw an Eiffel"

"OC: What does a limo driver and a hairy stripper have in common? They both get paid to chauffeur. (show fur)"

"WIFE: Where's the dog? *flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside."