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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time Donald Trump denied something... Then I too would have a small loan of 1 million dollars"

"What did the premature ejaculatist say to his offended lover? Sorry... That came out wrong."

"Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill So Jack could lick Jill's fanny. Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock 'cause Jill's a goddam tranny!"

"When people say things like ""You can't change the past"" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind."

"what's the difference between a loaded potato and a normal one? Someone's a lot less deadly with a normal potato."

"Me: What do you want for breakfast? Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast?"

"BREAKING NEWS: A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case."

"What is 2 inches and goes in one direction. Louis Walsh's Penis."

"wife [gives me piece of fruit] Try this me: Tastes like hand sanitizer wife: Did you just use hand sanitizer? me: Yeah wife me wife me: Why?"