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Joke of the Day
"I promise to never take you for granted... unless we are shopping for counter tops."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the middle eastern clowns? ISIS"
"Thanks to me, you'll probably start seeing 'For Display Only' signs on the toilets at Home Depot."
"Me: I got my YOLO tattoo covered up GF: Good. I told you it was just a stupid fad Me: I know GF: What'd you get? Me: *reveals Minion tattoo*"
"13: Dad, What's detour mean? Me: Get a dictionary and look up tampon."
"Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs"
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb. None. They just beat the room for being black."
"im leavin the united states now that trump is president i am packing my bags and moving to alaska i don't wanna live in this country anymore"
"My 4yo son just asked what squirrels eat. I answered nuts. We laughed so hard, hugged, and gave each other a high 5. My boy."
"What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill? A $100 bill makes change"