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Joke of the Day
"Thanks to me, you'll probably start seeing 'For Display Only' signs on the toilets at Home Depot."
Next Joke
"Your mom is like Reddit always under a heavy load"
"A man goes to the bar And he asks the bar tender Man: ""What taste good? Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke? Tender: *facepalm*"
"I tripped over a bra last night, do you think it was a boobie trap?"
"Doctor, doctor! I only have 59 seconds to live! Just a minute!"
"Can someone's face be a pet peeve?"
"I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need."
"DEFENSE: Your Honor, will you allow my client to escape? JUDGE: I'll allow it PROSECUTOR: Aw WTF JUDGE: Let's see where he goes with this"
"What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate so many chickpeas, now I falafel."
"Don't forget when you're tanning nude in your backyard that someone is zooming in on you from google earth satellite. You're welcome."