119943

Joke of the Day

"Just found a pill in the bottom of my purse. Have no clue what it is, but I'm real excited to take it and see what happens."

"What sound does a cow make? Sssssssss...."

"Why did the knight stop using the internet? Because he was sick of chainmail."

"How to make-out - 1. Hold her close 2. Kiss passionately 3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father"

"Why do meth addicts prefer to do it doggy style? So they can both look out the window."

"My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word. What's that? Ouch!"

"Don't describe two completely different things as ""apples and oranges"" they're both fruit Say something like ""elephants and crystal meth"""

"I really wish my boss would fall for the ""but all my friends are allowed to be late to work"" excuse."

"A ghost floats into a bar... The bartender says: 'What'll it be, spirits?"

"You know how I found out I have a fruit fetish? I had an Orange Crush."