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Joke of the Day

"Babe Ruth Walks Into a Bar Bartender says ""Why the Long Balls?"

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"What's a lawyer's favourite pastry? Suet"
"Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!"
"Man in a BMW pulls up next to a kid in the street... and says, ""Excuse me, lad. If I give you 5 bucks will you come in my car?"" Kid says, ""Give me 10 and I'll come in your mouth!"""
"How do mesquite trees get taller? They stand on their mesqui-toes!"
"I hate autocorrect... It always makes me say things I don't Nintendo."
"A cheeseburger walks up to a bar.. Cheeseburger says: ""Excuse me, can I have a pint of lager please?"" Barman says: ""No sorry, we don't serve food."""
"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know Y."
"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb... It's quite an obscure number you probably would not have heard of it."
"Sometimes when I'm down on life, I think to myself... ""At least I'm not addicted to crack."" And then I feel alot better about myself."