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Joke of the Day

"A cheeseburger walks up to a bar.. Cheeseburger says: ""Excuse me, can I have a pint of lager please?"" Barman says: ""No sorry, we don't serve food."""

"Q: What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile? A: A carpet."

"If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at."

"You're supposed to throw rice at new babies and their mothers, right? Traditions are weird."

"now when we see rotten food we think ""we should throw this out"" but in the past, they'd be like ""are there any shitty concerts coming up?"""

"What's the difference between pedophile and acne? Acne waits till puberty to come all over the kids face"

"The guy who invented the velcro died last week RIP"

"My girlfriend invited me to have some cyber-sex... I thought it was gonna be just some us time but it turned out it was a 4G!"

"Why did a pregnant lady walk into Jimmy Johns? They promised freaky fast delivery"

"How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever? He knows a lot about black holes"