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Joke of the Day

"A cheeseburger walks up to a bar.. Cheeseburger says: ""Excuse me, can I have a pint of lager please?"" Barman says: ""No sorry, we don't serve food."""

"bought 30 treadmills & placed them around the perimeter of house, when zombies attack my house they will just keep walking for days"

"Me: guess who i saw today? Batman: who? M: not your parents B: Y do you always do this? M: cause they told me to B: who? M: not your parents"

"A barber applied for a scholarship at the barber's academy He didn't make the cut"

"A little bird told me I'm on LSD and talking to a bird."

"A man walks into a hotel with his family. He tells the clerk: ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The clerk replies: ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck. """

"You may say the glass is half full or half empty. I say fill the rest of my damn cup!"

"What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese."

"I bet all three Pigs had a great education, but the Pig that lived in the straw house probably had a ponytail and a neck tattoo."

"See You Next Tuesday What's furry on the outside.. Wet on the inside.. Starts with a C... Ends with a T... And has U & N in-between? A coconut!"