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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb... It's quite an obscure number you probably would not have heard of it."

"""Can you cook dinner tonight?"" Can't. New meds say I can't operate any heavy machinery and that stove doesn't look light"

"3 men walk into a bar... ...and the fourth one ducks."

"My urge to sing ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight"" is just a whim away a whim away, a whim away, a whim away"

"My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?"

"What's the Turkish version of court packing? Turkey stuffing"

"Let's make fake tan orange people an official race so we can discriminate against them properly."

"I asked the grammar police about a crime in the capital... They told me that case was sensitive."

"If you wore corduroy to a job interview, what kind of an impression would you leave? I feel like this is a great setup, but I can't think of a punchline. Any help, reddit?"

"I'm not John Madden, just John Disappointeden."