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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb... It's quite an obscure number you probably would not have heard of it."

"I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. ""Sir, that is a sleeping bag"" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*"

"You know what's good about pirate hookers? You can splooge in her good eye and run away without paying."

"You now what's great about fucking twenty five year olds? There's twenty of them."

"what do you call a retarded person who crapped their pants down in the dump."

"what's the fastest animal in the world ? An Ethiopian Chicken"

"Things Michael J. Fox would be good at Grating Parmesan cheese."

"Our guide called the bear tracks I found bike tracks. Laugh it up pal, but if these bears are on bikes we're all going to die out here."

"hey boy ;) is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see m- oh, it is a gu- yes i will open the cash register"

"There should be an ""oh my god, shut up already"" button."